he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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