so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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