My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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