That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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