I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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