its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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