Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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