It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
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Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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