how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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