someone owes me an orgasm
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are we still banned from the library?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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