why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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