i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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