all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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