i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize