I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize