Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize