He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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