I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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