Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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