if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize