I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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