is your mom at the bar?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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