Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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