if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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