Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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