I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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