I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
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So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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