The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize