Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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