my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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