You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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