we're chasing vodka with high fives
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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