if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize