I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize