I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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