There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
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I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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