4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think my moral compass just broke
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