i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize