Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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