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Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Randomize
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