I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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