we made out on top of his cat.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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