I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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