these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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