I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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