I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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