He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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