I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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