I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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