well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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